Heard of this saying “No man is an island on its own”? Well, I guess most people do. It is inevitable that everywhere you go and whatever you do, you’ll bound to meet someone, something. Often, we see new faces, we meet new friends. But how often do we reach out to them, or taking the initiative to communicate with them, getting them into your conversation?
I remember in the first week of my last vacation job, I knew no one in the office (well, except my manager). I could hardly find anyone to talk to or clear my doubts, as everyone seemed to be in a bad mood, pulling long faces or in stern expression. I dare not even ask questions that were faced in my work. During lunch time, I had lunch with my department staffs, and they too, talked about things and topics that I do not understand at all – work-related and work-related-people. I was not sure if it was me being over-sensitive or they are just being who they are - unfriendly and fierce. Their actions hurt me (well, only for the first week). I felt left out and unwanted as I could not clique in to their conversation. If it was not for the contract that I had signed, I guess I would have quit the job.
Anyway, that was only for the first week of the job. As I get to know my colleagues better, I realized that they are really nice people and are not as unfriendly as they seemed to be. They just do not know how to express themselves to new faces and how to get them involve into their conversation without feeling awkward. If they had treated me better and nicer right from the first day of my work, I guess I would not have this wrong impression of them, or even have the thought of quitting the job. From this incident, I told myself that I would not want to be like any of them – giving people this unfriendly and fierce impression to new friends.
I guess effective communication is what I need to master- learning how to reach out to different people in different occasions and situations, and how to establish a rapport with someone new. Nevertheless, said is always easier than done. Just hope that by the end of the semester I could grab hold of the gist of effective communication, and not turn out to be one of them.
9 comments:
I had the same experience during my first day of work as a piano teacher at a music school. The other teachers had unfriendly faces too except one who smiled at me. However, I am not as lucky as you. After teaching for a year there, I dont even know the names of the teachers except the one who smiled at me which we eventually knew each other. This showed that communication need not be verbal, and non-verbal communication is equally important as well. ^_^
Hey Xiaotong, I guess your experience at work may coincide with many of us. In many cases, it's always difficult to take the first step. Hence, if you're willing to take the first step, you will find that actually many things will start to flow smoothly. This too applies in communication. If nobody ever wants to take the first step to befriend, I guess this Earth will be a lonely planet. So next time when you meet someone new in your workplace, be the first to say Hi! =)
Hello Xiaotong, really enjoyed reading your post as it reflects the reality in life. I have to agree with your point that sometimes people tend to have a shield when you first interact with them. However, I think as we slowly start to engage into conversations and interact more often, this invisible barrier will be broken gradually and eventually.
Hi Xiaotong, this situation sure sounds familiar. But I was playing the role of the one who had the long face and stern expression.Haha.
When I asked the new staff about her first impression of me, I got an answer exactly like yours.(By the way, I was nice and friendly on the first day of work. It’s just that when I don’t smile, I look fierce and have that stern expression on my face.) This clearly shows that even something that we hardly pay attention to - our own facial expression plays an important role in communication.
I think this is an common scenario in the working world. Everywhere we go, there bound to have this type of issues. I have worked before at a company and have experienced a similar incident. It is always hard at the start to click with your fellow colleagues. It takes time and effort.
Hi Xiaotong, i guess you highlighted the fact that first impression is so important but yet we should not judge them based on that alone. I think very often we humans would fall into the trap of judging someone based on our first impression of him/her after interacting with him/her. How to be likeable and seen as friendly, maybe we can start talking about stuff at the personal level or offer your help in any way you can? Most of the time when we temp in the office, we often think that the staff should be the ones to make us fit in, but maybe we can do our part to make ourselves fit in as well? Great post which i can relate to because i often temp in the office as well=)
Xiao Tong,
Thanks you for this very well focused, highly detailed post. You've chosen to emphasize one key aspect of com skills, interpersonal relations, and you present a clear example to highlight some of the issues involved (i.e., first encounters, breaking the ice, giving the right impression).
The only problem here really is some minor language issues, such as being consistent in your verb tense usage.
In any case, I look forward to reading more of your thoughts in future posts.
Effective communication is definitely important in your first encounter with someone. Saying something too direct may offend the person, or may make you look as though you are snobbish.
Making friends at work places are never easy. In fact, it may be impossible in many situations. When someone younger gets promoted, the older person gets jealous. When someone less qualified gets promoted, the one with higher education level gets jealous. Well, you get the idea.
Of course there are cases whereby people actually do get along. These are usually those who are not in the league of the other.
I agree with you.It is difficult to find clique with other people working in the same office as they may come from different background, age, culture and country. Some of more experienced employee may feel childish while talking to those of less experienced. These are the barriers we need to break down to get to know other better.If there are more males than females in a company, it would be awkward to communicate too. For example, I did my internship in a company of 3 females only and the other 13 are guys. I think facial expression like smiling is important in here, because it welcomes other to talk to you if you are smiling.In short, NVC is important.
Post a Comment